Call to Courage
“I failed.” I wept as I spoke this to my mentor reflecting on the last two years. My response to shock, anxiety, and the demand of an ever-changing world led to my overwhelm. Throughout, I experienced anger, resistance to change, and at times, mental and emotional paralysis. While I tried to comprehend the unfolding new world, I made attempts to hang onto the familiar and strayed away from my true spirit of curiosity, non-judgment, and action. I was felled by uncertainty and remained in patterns that were familiar to me without questioning if I could also change. Looking back, I did the best I could, but I wish it had been more.
My mentor responded to my sense of failure with great compassion and encouragement. He validated the intensity of the profound changes we faced individually and as a community and spurred me to remember the ways in which I had shown up for myself and others during the recent past. Boosted by his affirmation, I could examine and accept both parts of me: the part that did the best with what I had at the time and the part of me who held back from accepting the present moment with openness and flow.
Teresa of Ávila is quoted as saying “once fear gets into your mind it takes great effort for it to leave.” As I reflected on my own fear and recognized the ways it kept me paralyzed from embracing change it helped to clarify my keyword for 2022: Courage. In his book Courage is Calling [bookshop.org; Amazon], Ryan Holiday remarks that “we must first learn how to conquer fear, or at least rise above it in the moments that matter.” Encouraged by these mentors my current mantra is: When I can I will.
Our brains and bodies are wired to respond to fear. We automatically know how to fight, freeze, or flee in the face of real danger. These are all appropriate and necessary responses to life. Yet there is a difference between responding to real danger and stoking the fire of imagined difficulties. We do well to cultivate awareness and compassion when our fear response transforms into barriers of change. Getting lost in “what if?”, I create scenarios that feel true but are not actually happening. When I am afraid to let go of the familiar, my mind dictates inaction that creates a false sense of safety and inhibits me from experiencing the benefit of transformation. While change is inevitable the suffering of resistance to change is not.
For me, this is the rule of courage: to observe the mind’s gallant attempt to not bend with change but to change anyway. When my inner guidance is dimmed by the voice of fear, I will heed the voice within and move towards action. I will cultivate practices that strengthen both my awareness and resolve to honor the power of the human spirit.
How to Cultivate Courage
Here are some simple ideas to explore your inner voice and cultivate courage to do what truly serves you best:
Spend time in reflection by journaling, meditating, or walking to identify any fears that may be present for you.
Write down any beliefs that may be related to the fear. For example, “I’m not great at technology so I’m afraid to start a zoom meeting.”
Clarify which fears are calling for action now and which fears are about the future.
Write down at least 5 times in your life when you felt fear and chose action. What were the results? What happened to the fear?
Identify 3 actions a week that you can do to move out of fears towards your values and goals, for self or others.
Reflect with a trusted person on what fears or beliefs that you may want to address or shift.
It has been almost a year since I have shared thoughts on a blog. For those of you who are faithful readers, thank you for joining me in the past. To those of you who are new readers, welcome. In the coming months I'm excited to share ideas and encouragement to engage in practices to strengthen self-awareness and to bravely connect with our values, revitalize the practice of being in the present moment and to walk in strength as change rolls on.
With deepest wishes for health and peace,
Sandra